We've moved here.
Or you can link meAT www.dawningthoughts.wordpress.com

So sis has already blogged about what's been going on in our spiritlife here .

So blessed to be freed from burderns of the past
So blessed to know the one who holds my tomorrow
So blessed to know two other friends who have (slowlybutsurely, our favourite phrase) found their footing albeit in a differentland ...

Talking to doctorpennykee last night was so refreshing and it reminded me of times of servitude and workingtogether and likemindedness. to press on.

Friday and Sundays have been rechargable days. And as I attend a funeral tonight, somewhat apt considering the schoolday being one of the miserablemondays where you get disappointed/ discouraged/ disillusioned again because somehow, surely, somewhere there is bound to be...

Our ceiling fan almost fell down today because someone tried to hit it with their schoolbag;

Played Switchfoot (loud rock and roll style) today (for close passage exercise) and despite the badhorriblemoments of disciplining and scolding, I have at least done my part in trying to say 'we were meant to live (here) for so much more'.

But of course a 'cher came to say it was too loud but -

In a weird sadistic way, I've done my part in evangelising in a place where we can't talk about God.

So, while I nurse my veryvery sore throat back to health and rent another VCD with di, I am going to shove whatever happened away to another pocket and try to forget that I threw a whiteboard duster out of the window.

I. AM. SO. TIRED.

.................................................... no more creative metaphors
( ) ( )
it's all empty, really.
just tangled in the blanket of nonthoughts,
of walkingafter and walkingaway

.
fullstop
.

"Oh Charlie, you should have seen this girl. She's shy, she's fragile, she's self conscious, she has no idea how beautiful she is. She's a mess. She's fantastic."
- Jake about Sarah

The very thought that Mr. Cusack thought Diane Lane was fantastic despite the fact that she was a mess is enough to make a girl melt into a pool of slush!! Di swooned when he said that and the ever faithful sister grabbed a pen and paper because "it is a very good script". So I sat there, scribbling on an envelope containing my aunt's Progress Paper Package because it just sounded nice and I wanted to collect quotes. And so the Cusack character was charming, and witty, and funny, who watched Dr. Zhivago reruns in theatres and sold boats he made from his own hands.

Most importantly, he made her laugh all the time and had the most wicked sense of humour.

SWOOOONNNN.....
(:

:::::::::::::::: the pupil in denial :::::::::::::::::::::::

I awake today feeling slightly run over by an RV or a bigvehicletruck.

HarHar.

I've been tired from work, and sometimes giving giving and giving so much without any results (is it necessary for it to be immediate?) can leave me absolutely empty, in need of fillingup. I don't want the needle at the gauge to reach zero, and so I figure I should enter a petrol kiosk, because sometimes I forget Godismystrength. I look for friends or for people (all the wrongplaces I know) and end up disappointed because I know they have their own storiesandburdens to carry, and I get mad at myself for placing expectations on them which they do not deserve to be carrying.

On the flipside, I know I have been progressing daybyday and I am already a person entirelychanged and renewed (by God's grace), and am already a biggerbetter version from two years ago. N would have been so proud. That's what learning and the journey does to you (: It transforms you into a beautifully flawed piece of God's work day by day.

Being then a very fallenhumanbeing, I realise I want to learn not to do that. (The placing of expectations part.) So, while I am dancing with myself, and wondering which step to take, I am going to choose the one that needs the most faith, absolute faith. To take a step back, and restart. All over again. Can I rewind? (This is so Click. Heh.) To learn to align myself more with Christ.

Enjoy the process - they all say.
I know I know. My pride is my downfall and I do things to prove people wrong. Too much hardstuff, grit. So while God works in providing me with more grace, love and selfdiscipline, bear with me.

As I write this, dad comes over and drops me a mail from Deakin with my entire Masters transcripts and I realise I either got a D or HD for most of my subjects except for two Credit passes. I just want to cry. Because it was a crazy year and I don't even know how I did it, but I did. And it is definitely god'sgrace.

God, let your will be done. And this, I admit, is the hardest to say and believe both at the same time.

SavingLives

I am sitting here, musing, and wondering if I made a really really bad mistake by choosing to continue with my three classes. Timetables are slated to change next week as the new teachers have come, and I am supposed to be relieved off two monster classes. While a fraction of my heart wants to take a holiday and rest, drink ice-cold lemon tea, pack itself in plastic wrap, or just sit, recluse, for abit, I cannot help but wonder if I don't take them into my life, then who will?

It really is all about ministry isn't it? I'm not sure if what I'm doing is really saving one's life, because many will always go home to broken families, be beaten, come to school in fear of bigger and better bullies. I stopped short today, realising that the boy who is always getting into trouble and testing my patience might have fresh bloodied cane marks on his arm. The bamboo rods that we, Asians, love so much. I do believe in the : spoil the rod and you spoil the child mentality. But the wounds were split open and there was blood. Four bloody lines that stretched along his arm. I was very angry with him and shouted at him (an accumulation of his many errors and for leading the class into another riot) because he would not listen and for a split, heartwrenching second, I heard him mutter "why you always say it's my fault one?" So I am constantly reminded to love and to ask for more patience. God, more of them please. And what you see is what you get, which makes the world a really sad place to live in for them.

Yesterday, I walked towards the Head and in true spirit, personally asked her to leave the timetable as it is. She looked at me with her mouth wide open and I had, in that moment, an inkling that I would be up for more tiring, emotionally exhausting war days in the weeks to come. However, I know that the soft approach can change the wild monkeys and it would take the new teacher another whole month to get to know them - which by then, would be the exams.

And so, everyday is a rollercoaster. I want to balk at the cliche, but I can't, cos it's true. Everyday, I try new things, and sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. It's tiring and I look like crap everyday. Heh. I have never had so many short naps in my life, but I know I wouldn't have given this experience up for the world.

Lifesavers

Di and I have also returned to our moviewatching days and having Kaye so near the West now is great! I love movies, movie posters, movie theatres. The fleeing from the world idea. Last night, we managed to catch Adam Sandler's CLICK and I think of my cousin who would have, literally, BAWLED, in the theatres. So Di wrote a review of it in her blog and it's great (positive comments! i still think it's one of the 'best' sandler shows in awhile) because there have been many reviewers who trashed it (I'm not talking about my moviereviewer friend here who 'almost' cried much to the shame and horror of friends who know him). I have to also give G an award for making me laugh out loud in the staff room with his text messages: two days in a row. Clap clap.

TGIF!!

- D wondering if her choice to take all 3 NT classes will have detrimental longterm effects.

Hi everyone,

my name is E.T. Some of you may know me from the show of the same name, while others may just find me familiar. D wanted me to introduce myself because she thought we ought to be acquainted. So there, I'm the new addition to the Woo family and although I am not very Asian, I seem to blend in. She thinks I'm cute. She says cute means Ugly, but Adorable. As George Lucas has engineered me with a positive disposition, save for the homesickness and need to ALWAYS CALL HOME, I try to take it as a compliment.

The Father and The Mother were slightly appalled the first time we met, but they have warmed up to me ever since. Just today, The Mother cleared D's room while she was at work and placed me neatly on a cart at the side. I think she likes me. Because she lifted me up and put me neatly at the side. That's reason enough. It is a vast improvement from our first meeting because she had her face all screwed up. But it was bad lighting, it was dark, and the whole family was in the car. D convinced The Mother I had big cute eyes, and I won her over.

It's fun being here because my twin, E.T., is in the next door. We have the same name so D is looking for a name for me too, any ideas?

P.S. I have also been instructed to assure you that I am well fed, even though I look like someone from the thirdworld. Noooo, D treats me well. And sometimes, I worry for her. Because you know, she talks to me quite abit and thinks I'm a pet.

XXX

E.T.

You see, it has been getting a little too difficult to think. Of late, my brain has been shutting down automatically from the prospect of work and commmitments and appointments. I try to organise everything in my head and it fails, although I am sure this problem could easily be solved by (a) writing them down or (b) using an organiser. My very own brain has a selfdefence mechanism. It's brilliant.

While my need for intellectual stimulation has been repressed, I have to admit that the dying of brain cells have made way for creativity because of the desperate need to think of ways and means to interest and motivate a class that is filled with people who'd rather be: rioting and spinning themselves into a daze on a roller chair. No choice one. And so, I sit in front of the computer today and am stumped. With my brain like fluff now, I distinctively remember having dreamt of Kaye last night. There were more dreams but the others, I cannot remember now. I also assure you that the random statement I just made is a thoughtful disclaimer and prelude to my entry as being completely random. It will be an unedited piece of fluff that will be coming out of my ears in spools. I am too lazy to edit after 40 x 3 pieces of writing.

It's only 16:23 and my monday has already reached its peak even before nightfall. It's like I've been starring in a comedy of errors. You see, my monday today happened to be an episode from twilight zone and I have been doing everything in delayed reaction. Everything is at least 8seconds to 47minutes too late. You see right, I missed an early class today. I have never missed a class. Unintentionally, at least. I misread my note and thought my NTkids were still having their test only to find out that the monitor, school staff, teacher and others have been looking for me. I ran back to class to find, mortified, that the P had taken over. But it was a misread. Honestly. I'm perfectly aware at this point that I'm possibly close to being seen as the worstteacheronearth because I was kicking back and drinking tea with sugar, happily chatting to a colleague. I was, all the time, blissfully unaware that my class had gone on a riot and was about to be caned.

But I am proud of myself.

Because I am having a sore throat. I confiscated a hamster from class today and had to stare it down from trying to gnaw it's way out of the water bottle. I threatened to throw it out of the window, into the washing machine, and finally, a blender. But like always, grace supersedes and God is good because my heart softened and I relented by saying that I would take all the hamsters home in future if they were to appear in class again. Results are showing, slowly, but they are there and it is something. I have, to date, kids due to turn up for remedial lessons on friday- I consider this a miraculous feat because all these kids want to do is go home, play computer games, sleep and watch porn. So, in a weird, tired way, I'm contented.

In the time it has taken me to explain everything to you, my twin has already climbed out of bed, eaten duck for lunch, uploaded pictures from her mobile and started on work. And in a few minutes time I'm going to fall off my chair and hope that fluff day ends like....now.

Now.

To you and you

• I last remember lying on your bed, feet sticking out because there were four on the king-size but you said "it's okay, we always have sweaty people around here". And so we spent the rest of the earlymorning (till 4 or was it 5) talking and gossiping and learning life in an awkward position. On hindsight, it was oddly comfortable.

• When the husband was aggrieved because he thought I had lost my chance of lifetime happiness by placing flowers in the boot and talking to casper because I was pai seh. I knew, because Di told me after the tragic night that S had called her, sounding mildly distressed, and said aiyah forget it la, don't care already, whatever happens, happens!

OHMY, the things we do for each other. But then I realise that's what cousins do. We allow someone to lie on the bed even though they forget to wash their feet and care more about the love affairs of the other instead of their own.

Have fun in your new journey,
and remember to take us along with you.